day old chewing gum and un cried tears

mix together to make a temporary graveyard

of every doubt and insecurity

that has ever stuck inside my sticky mind

.

i can remember every mistake I’ve ever made

.

please take me back to pre k butterfly clips

and value village dresses

i’ll skin my knees on every blacktop

if it means my sticky mind will forget it all

every “you’re too loud”

and “god, she’s annoying”

.

make me malevolent

as I miss

how my mind

used to murmur

.

my sticky mind remembers my last life

and the one before that

but it can’t remember a single nice thing about me

.

let me grab the peanut butter and attempt to unstick the sticky, prickly thoughts ingrained in my brain

let me coax out every

“you’re worthless” or

“just quit”

forever gone

let me retrain my sticky mind to catch only pretty thoughts that fly by

let me plant a garden on top of every tombstone

or at the very least

a flower to absorb the sunlight